Missed out on Glastonbury tickets? Gutted that England didn’t make Euro 2008? Don’t worry, because there’s plenty more going on this summer. From cheese-rolling to shin-kicking, here’s our pick of some of the more unusual festivals on offer
Chase the cheese
Britain has a fine tradition of inventing sports like football, cricket, rugby, golf…and cheese-rolling. At Cooper’s Hill in Gloucestershire, they’ve been rolling cheese for at least two centuries, and the Spring Bank Holiday event is the undisputed highlight of the international cheese-rolling calendar. Basically, competitors hurl themselves down a stupidly steep slope after a wheel of Double Gloucester cheese, and the person who catches it wins. But with cheese rolling at speeds of 70mph, there’s less ‘catching’ and more ‘racing madly to the bottom of the hill’. There are five races and anyone can enter. But cheese-lovers, beware: it’s a rare year where nobody requires hospital treatment afterwards.
Yes, they do love their weird sports in Gloucestershire. The Cotswold Olympicks take place the following Friday at nearby Chipping Camden. They’ve been held for nearly 400 years – three centuries longer than the modern Olympics – and feature some rather interesting events. etc.’s favourite is Shin Kicking, and we want to see it in London 2012.
Hunt the Earl
Every Spring Bank Holiday, the villagers of Combe Martin, Devon re-enact a bizarre ritual called the Hunting of the Earl of Rone. Banned in 1837 for the drunken, bad behaviour of its revellers, the festival was revived in 1974. Local legend claims it’s based on historical events from 400 years ago, when the Earl of Tyrone, Ireland was shipwrecked nearby and captured by grenadiers, although it’s probably based on much older pagan rites. No aristocrats are actually harmed in this hunt – the Earl is a straw-stuffed figure. After a weekend’s search, he’s ‘discovered’ in the woods on Monday night, mounted backwards on a donkey and paraded through the village to the sea. Along the way he’s frequently shot by people dressed up as grenadiers, revived, remounted, then shot again. Around sunset, he’s finally shot on the beach and thrown into the sea. Hurrah!
Bogged down
Forget the World Cup, Wimbledon and the Olympics – for true athleticism and sporting spirit, the only place to be is Waen Rhydd peat bog, on the outskirts of Britain’s smallest town, Llanwrtyd Wells, on August Bank Holiday Monday. Elite athletes from as far away as Russia and New Zealand compete for the prestigious title of World Bog Snorkelling Champion by wiggling their way through a 60-yard trench in the bog. They wear snorkels and flippers, but are not allowed to use conventional swimming strokes. For dedicated bog-sport experts, mountain bike bog snorkelling (yes, that does mean cycling underwater) and a triathlon are held earlier in the summer.
Long live the King
Porthcawl is a drowsy Welsh seaside town for most of the year, but for one weekend in September it turns into a surreal parallel universe, inhabited by thousands of Elvis impersonators. Europe’s largest Elvis festival (yes, there are others) attracts look-alikes, tribute acts and fans of the King. Some of the world’s leading Elvis impersonators compete in the ‘Elvies’ awards, and also perform in local pubs. Other events over the years have included Elvis cruises, an Elvis ‘It’s a Knockout’, Elvis weddings and a display of Elvis horsemanship (don’t ask us).
One good gurn deserves another
The Egremont Crab Fair in Cumbria is one of the oldest festivals in the country, held every September since 1267. The crabs are crab apples – small, sour wild apples. Bite into one and you’re likely to screw your face up in disgust, which could be how the World Gurning Championships started in the first place. For those of you who don’t know, gurning is the art of pulling the ugliest face possible. The World Championships attract international interest, so be warned there’s a good chance of your gurning face being caught by a TV camera. Other events during the day include climbing a greasy pole, Cumberland wrestling, horn blowing, joke-telling and sentimental-song-singing contests.
DIY flying
The mythical Icarus flew too close to the sun, and the wax in his wings melted. Most of the competitors in the Bognor Birdman in July only make it a few feet off the end of Bognor Regis pier, though serious competitors in elaborate flying machines regularly soar over 50m. Local lad Dave Bradshaw holds the record for an 89.2m flight in 1992. A £25,000 prize is on offer for the first person to pass 100m, but it’s unlikely to be claimed by any of the Mary Poppinses, Popes, skateboarding cows, Ninja Turtles or other fancy dress competitors that have joined in over the years. They don’t so much fly as, well, fall.
Pushing the boundaries
Back in the Middle Ages, the people of the Scottish Borders would ride round the boundaries of their villages to check for English invaders, rival tribes and other dangers. Over the centuries, these Common Ridings developed into a unique series of festivals, which take place in several towns between June and August. At dawn, a colourful parade of hundreds of horses sets out to ride the boundaries of the town. Carrying flags and banners, the riders sing songs and take part in various races, rituals and refreshments along the way. The festivities may last several days, with feasting, dancing, music, sporting contests and other celebrations. Be prepared to party hard: Hawick’s Common-Riding Day, the biggest and best-known, kicks off when the town is woken by a drum and fife band at 6am for some snuff and a mug of rum and milk. And it doesn’t stop until dawn, when the hardcore partygoers climb a hill to watch the sunrise before dancing a final reel. Then there’s just enough time for a couple of hours’ kip before the drum and fife band starts up again…
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