The Cyber-bully
So what is cyber-bullying?
Cyber-bullying is when a young person is harassed, embarrassed, threatened or otherwise targeted by another young person over the internet or mobile phone. It’s a problem that is becoming more and more visible in the news. ‘The most common form of cyber-bullying is abusive remarks on social-networking websites such as MySpace, Bebo and Piczo,’ says Liz Carnell, Director of Bullying UK, an anti-bullying resource on the web. In a recent survey of young people in the UK, 69% admitted to being bullied. That number suggests that you probably know several people who have been victimised by an online bully – maybe it’s even happening to you.
Sometimes, an act of cyber-bullying can seem like a harmless bit of fun, but it rarely feels this way for the victim. There are too many stories of teenagers pushed to suicide after several months – and at times, several years – of repeated bullying. While suicide is undoubtedly the worst product of cyber-bullying, more common ones are depression, eating disorders and self-harm – hardly much nicer.
Facts and figures
Ryan's story
Ryan was a sensitive boy who struggled to get average grades in school. Like many 13-year-olds, he was skinny and awkward, and not the most popular kid in his year. Perhaps because he was gentle, Ryan was called gay and got bullied in school. His parents offered to speak with the school’s teachers about it, but he begged them not to. In the summer of 2003, things seemed to get a little better. Ryan started to spend most of his time online, and was surprised to find that the most popular girl in school wanted to chat with him. She told him that she liked him, and in turn Ryan told her personal things – his feelings, thoughts, secrets – the normal things you’d tell your girlfriend or boyfriend. When school began that autumn, he couldn’t wait to see her in person. But when he did, she called him a loser and said that it had all been a joke. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Ryan soon found out that she had copied and pasted parts of their IM conversations and sent them around to schoolmates for a laugh. Ryan became increasingly depressed and ashamed – three months later, he committed suicide in his home.
Big Brother is watching
Because the internet is more anonymous than real life, bullies believe that they can get away with more – after all, they don’t see teachers or police patrolling across their computer screen. But creating a fake Hotmail account doesn’t make a person invisible – far from it. A spokesperson from Orange explains how online activity is recorded:
‘Internet providers allocate what is known as an IP address when a customer connects to the internet, and that IP address is unique for that session. So whenever anyone sends an email, or accesses a website anywhere in the world, a log of their IP address and date and time is created on a server.’
This means that everything we do online – even things under a false name – leaves a digital fingerprint. The police are allowed to access this information, so no cyber-bully is getting away with anything as long as someone reports them.
Anti-bullying campaigns
The internet isn’t going away anytime soon and neither is the issue of cyber-bullying. But this doesn’t mean we have to cancel our Bebo accounts and bury our laptops. Thanks to a rise in cyber-bully awareness, internet providers, social-networking sites and mobile phone companies are working on ways to improve the future. One example is the launch of Bebo’s ‘well-being’ platform (www.bebo.com/bewell), a new feature that provides users with information and support on everything from eating disorders to online security, as well as links to finding help. Youtube has also launched a ‘beat bullying channel’ (www.youtube.com/beatbullying) and schools across the UK are working with mobile phone and internet companies to create anti-bullying programmes.
What you can do
The internet is a pretty massive place, and authorities can’t be in every corner at all times. So if you see an instance of cyber-bullying on the web, report it back to the website administrator or your internet service provider. If someone you know is getting bullied, offer to help them tell someone about it. Go with them to speak with their parents or your head of year.
Bullied? Here’s an expert’s advice:
‘Keep a diary, make sure you tell your parents and ask them to contact your head of year to ask for action to be taken,’ says Liz Carnell, Director of Bullying UK. ‘People are often worried that telling will make things worse, but in a good school this shouldn’t happen. Schools can step up supervision so that bullies can be caught red-handed so people are not blamed for telling tales. Assaults or abuse and threats on the internet or by phone should always be reported to the police. If you feel very upset, always see your doctor and you can email Bullying UK on help@bullying.co.uk at any time.’
Helpful websites
Join others in supporting the fight against bullies – help fundraise for bullying.co.uk by sponsoring a disco, spelling contest or cake stall. To organise, contact John Carnell at JohnC@bullying.co.uk
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